Mayuri was having relationship issues with her partner, Avik. She thought Avik took her for granted and didn’t show affection enough. They were fighting about this repeatedly and it was impacting their relationship.
On a close friend’s suggestion, she reached out to a coach and conversation with the coach evoked a realization that she might be contributing to the problem. She realized that she too didn’t appreciate Avik very often and that she was overlooking the nice small things he did around the house for her and little physical gestures that showed his affection.
During her conversations with the coach, Mayuri introspected her thought processes and realized that whenever Avik missed an opportunity to make her feel loved she assumed that he was purposely avoiding doing things that she liked.
After her conversations with the coach, now she spends time thinking and talking with Avik about how they want to show and receive love, and they are working on improving their relationship.
If you too like Mayuri, are facing issues in your relationship, here are some tips for developing self-awareness and improving your relationships
- Practice mindfulness, especially when interacting with your loved ones. Pay attention to the words they say, their tone, their body language, and their facial expressions. We communicate far more information non-verbally than we do with our words alone. Give your loved ones your full attention.
- Have regular conversations about the relationship. It’s important to keep things in perspective and ensure that nothing is falling between the cracks. When you have regular conversations about your relationship with your loved ones, it’s much harder to avoid or ignore things that can turn into problems. It also helps you reflect on your part and come prepared to discuss your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, along with your loved ones.
- Spend quality time together as well as apart. This is especially important for romantic relationships, as we often find ourselves spending most or even all of our free time with our partner. However, much you love and enjoy spending time with your partner, everyone needs some quality time alone.
Make sure you and your partner are both getting some quality “me” time to think about what you want, what you need, and what your goals are. This will help you in maintaining your independence and stability. Then, since there will be two independent, stable, and healthy adults in the relationship, it will be even more fulfilling and satisfying to both partners when they spend quality time together. - Share your perspective and consider theirs. It’s easy to get too caught up in our perspective on things; however, healthy relationships require that we consider others’ needs in addition to our own. To know what our loved ones need and to deliver on those needs, we must first identify and understand them. We do this by practicing self-awareness and sharing that awareness with our friends and family.
If you never check in with your loved ones on their views or feelings, it can cause you to drift apart and inhibit real, satisfying intimacy. Ask your loved ones for their perspective on things and share your perspective with them.